Understanding

I always ask my boys about their days at school. I'm interested to know how there friends are, what they learned, and if there were any problems during their day. They always answer, " School was okay. " With specific questions about friends, they both answer, " I don't know." Maybe, it's just how boys talk. Who knows?
One day, however, my son Edwin was crying and did not want to go to school. This was unusual for him. He loves school so much. He's a good student , has a lot of friends, and loves his teachers. He revealed to me that there was a boy who was teasing him, whom I'll call "Johnny". Upon hearing this, I felt really sad. I wish I could protect my son from everything, but this was a battle that he had to learn to deal with.
I told my son to just ignore "Johnny". I even came up with some clever one liners for him to try against him. I thought further about what I was saying and teaching my child. I asked myself, " Why is "Johnny" acting this way?" Maybe there is something going on in his life, something so stressful and heart wrenching, that is bothering him to the core. His coping mechanism, unfortunately, is to take this out on others. What do you expect? He's only 10 years old, anyway! Perhaps, he doesn't realize that his actions hurt.
I told Edwin," You should forgive him. Maybe he acts that way because he is sad, hurt, or upset about something. Let's ask God to help him so he can stop acting so mean."

I thought about my words to Edwin, and how I should try to truly live these words, too. There are people in our lives who , for whatever reason, say or do things that are hurtful. Unfortunately, most are blind to their own actions. What we can do , however, is to forgive and to pray. I remember Jesus' words, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Only the Lord knows their hearts and souls. He knows what they have experienced in their lives to transform them into someone who does not love.
Edwin's story has a happy ending. "Johnny" no longer teases him. I know, however, that in the future, there will be more "Johnny"s and he'll have to learn to deal with them.

As for my own life, I struggle to remember that people who hurt others are likely hurting as well, as a result of mistreatment from someone else in their lives. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give me the gift of Understanding, to help me have patience, to continue to live the life that He has asked me to, and to remember that there is always something good, even in the most desolate of souls.

Teaching Humility

My son, Alex, is 4 years old. He really looks up to his big brother Edwin, age 6. I know that they really love each other, but they also know how to push each others buttons, too. They frequently get into little spats throughout the day. Five minutes later, they're best friends again. It's amazing...
On Saturday mornings, Larry takes the kids to Panera for bagels. On one particular Saturday, Edwin was teasing Alex unceasingly, once again. For punishment, Edwin stayed home with me . I put him in the Corner, an area for naughty boys associated with complete boredom. He cried his eyes out . He knew he was missing out on all of the fun.
When Alex came home, all malice towards Edwin had disappeared. He was so happy to see his big brother! Alex brought Edwin his favorite , a yummy cinnamon crunch bagel!

Edwin was too proud to accept it. He did not understand why Alex would be so nice to him, after all the teasing he had done. Edwin cried even harder.
Of course, Edwin's hunger won him over and he enjoyed his cinnamon bagel.


I learned a lot from both my boys that day. I had a long talk with Edwin . It is truly humbling when someone continues to be kind to us, even when we don't deserve it. As for Alex, he's at that age of innocence when hearts are still pure, when the capacity to be bitter is still nonexistent. I thought of Jesus... He had an immense love for everyone, including those who hurt him. I am in complete awe of his capacity to forgive, and continue to give.


That's something I'd like to teach my children, and even myself, too:
To give freely from our hearts, even when it hurts to do so.
It is definitely not an easy task. If we could focus our lives and hearts on Jesus' example, only then will this be possible.

Thoughts on Anger

My friend, Judy, sent me a quote by Gandhi, "When a man gives way to anger, he only harms himself."
I thought about situations in my life where I just got so angry. Irregardless of whether the anger was justified, it did not bring me any sense of peace. It did not change the person to whom I was angry with. If anything, it brought about a strained relationship. This, unfortunately, permeates everything. People choose sides.

It is amazing how one's words can be so harmful and hurtful. One thing I've realized, is that you're never too old to hurt someone. On the flip side, you're never too old to apologize. You're never too old to learn to be more Christlike in one's actions.

I wrote this quote down on a piece of paper that sits on my desk, and I've committed it to memory, too. I was able to avoid some confrontations a few weeks ago, but unfortunately, not all. I'm definitely not perfect, too old to apologize, or to turn the other cheek.

That's the beauty of having an open mind. It's something we all need.

Palm Sunday Liturgy

I always look forward to the Palm Sunday Liturgy. The Passion of our Lord is recited, with the priest, deacon, and lector having roles in the "play." I have had the honor of participating in this liturgy almost yearly for the past several years.

I take my role as lector seriously. I know that there are a lot of people day dreaming out there, so I try to speak my words with expression to keep people attentive. I try to make eye contact , too, to connect with the congregation.

During the Palm Sunday Liturgy, my lines involve St. Peter's denial of Jesus, Pontius Pilate's condemnation, Judas' betrayal, the crowd freeing Barabas.... well, you get the picture. It really pains me to have to say those thing. I know that we're only retelling the story, but I can't help but feel that I , too, am personally saying these things.

Why this psychological turmoil? Maybe we all have a little bit of Peter, Judas, Pilate, and the angry crowd in all of us. We are all sinners in God's eyes. It's a matter of recognizing that and asking for forgiveness. Luckily for us, God is always ready and willing.

My last line in the narrative is from the Roman centurion, who says, "Truly, this Man was the Son of God." It gives me a chance to redeem myself, to proclaim that Jesus is the Messiah! He willingly suffered and died for us.

The depths of God's love and forgiveness humbles me.

Can You Do This For Me?

I frequently ask my children to do things for me. Take for example my son, Edwin. He's such a picky eater. It's gotten to the point where he is just not gaining enough weight. I try to make him eat a lot of high calorie foods, but he just cannot do it. I've tried everything, even taking away his favorite toys!!!
I try to do the "Smart Mom" thing, and reason with him. I tell him, "Edwin, if you don't eat, you'll just shrink and I will not be able to find you any more." That line used to work, but now he's gotten too smart for me.
Out of frustration, I say, "Can you just do this for me, because it would make your Mama sooo happy?"

I've thought so much about that line, especially this Lenten season. I wonder if God feels the same way about all of us. He loves us all so much. All he asks of us is to love Him with all of our heart. In the same respect, he asks us to love our neighbor as He has loved us.

Yes, there are things in our lives that are just so difficult to do. I think about Jesus, carrying the cross, suffering and dying for us. How small our problems seem compared to the ultimate love that He has shown.

I often think of Jesus asking me, " Can you do this because I love you? Can you do this for the glory of God?" Can I forgive someone who doesn't ask for forgiveness? Can I put aside my personal feelings, swallow my selfish pride, and show my neighbor the love of Jesus through my actions?

The answer of course is , "Yes."
Jesus never said that being a Christian would be easy. With prayer and faith, we can all do what God asks of us.